some people *ACTUALLY* have this thing called "INTEGRITY". LEARN IT.

i met with ics today and he made sure my application was all sent in to the boston housing authority. i thought i had to verify my priority and preferance.. zen claims all i have to do is wait for my name to come up on the waiting lists i entered myself in. i'm pretty sure he was making sure my doctor sent in my letter saying i was disabled and i need accomodations in the apartment to make things easier for me. i just hope he's not telling me that we don't need to do anything else when there IS something they're asking me to do and my name gets dropped off the list. he said the last letter i got from them was just telling me i was the last priority of the waiting list because i'm not a citizen of the state. a person has to start somewhere i suppose. zen said my name should come up within about 2 years. that's better than what i was told the length of time it'd take to get housing in new york when i actually had a consultant assisting me hired by wells fargo when my money was with them at first. so in the meantime, i'm gonna work on building my work experience, so i have a useful resume to help me get employed when i finally get to boston, so it's not too difficult to find a job seeing as i'm not entitled enough to have parents who are actually employed and own apartments- so all i have to do is depend on social security unlike other neglectful parents. i also am aware that i NEED to ACTUALLY be CONSTRUCTIVE and busy or my mind tends to wander and i get myself into trouble. so the WISEST and most LOGICAL thing to do would be to work on building my resume with work experience, NOT for the convenience of neglectful uncaring selfish relatives who just want to LOOK like they actually care by underestimating me and carelessly keeping me within their comfort bubbles at their convenience. who's life is this anyway? MINE. just because my mom feels satisfied living below the cost of living and letting everyone do everything for her- does NOT make me the same. go fuckin bother one of her other kids with that assumption if you wanna feel like that makes you appear "caring". i'm aware that i'm more capable than living depending SOLELY on social security, throwing all my goals away for everyone else's CONVENIENCE. just go away if you think you can force me to lower my capability and ability just for the convenience of people who really DON'T give a shit about me. don't even attempt to look like you "care" about me if you're gonna underestimate my capability and abilities, not even if it makes your ego look better in front of your damn in-laws. you're not using me to make yourself look better. i'm sick of this false sense of "caring" i get from family members only for the reason that it's better than nothing! fuck that. don't even "care" about me if you're gonna underestimate my abilities and capabilities just so it's CONVENIENT for YOU because this is MY life. not yours. not my uncaring pretend-to-be-handicap-so-people-feel-sorry-for-me mom's. MINE. i'm NOT stupid enough to believe you actually care about me- so cut the shit. IF you ACTUALLY did- you'd be working with ME to see how I am GENUINELY HAPPY. if i was just laying down, not working- i KNOW from EXPERIENCE that people would be bitchin about it too. that shit is too fuckin boring and i know i'm more capable than that. another reason why i'm moving from this particular state- because amanda assumes she won't have to care about me or do anything for me if i'm in the same state as her, attending some overrated pathetic excuse of a "rehabilitation center", and LIVING OFF SOCIAL SECURITY BECAUSE SHE THINKS I'M STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK THAT'S WHERE THE MONEY'S AT! yeah! hotdog! living on a certain BELOW living wage and on benefits, while basically having an allowance of how much i CAN and can't spend money like a fucking kid getting paid for doing chores by their mom and dads! MY DREAM COME TRUE! I BUSTED MY ASS IN SCHOOL AND GOT A'S, WHILE ALSO PARTICIPATING IN SPORTS, THEN WENT ONTO A FEW DIFFERENT COLLEGES JUST TO DEPEND ON SOCIAL SECURITY! THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! *rolls eyes* shut up. the reason why i say amanda lacks EMPATHY because i KNOW she wouldn't want the same thing for herself or even her kids if the shoe was on the other foot. ha.. what am i thinking? empathy requires intelligence.. something she can't even vote for- so this figures. my grandma got me excited for nothing. my grandma was so NAIVE.. just like amanda.. must run in the family. the job coach who will be attending my interview with me tomorrow called me about an hour ago and she asked me how i found the job, i told her that i found it on indeed and some lady called me about scheduling an interview yesterday and i scheduled it for thursday because i was busy on friday and today. the job coach said to me surprised, "WOW! WHERE DID YOU SAY YOU FOUND THIS JOB?!" then i said, "indeed." then she said, "i'm surprised because all my other clients just wait for ME to find the jobs and get them interviews but you actually did that all yourself!" so i guess "naive" wouldn't be a good descriptive word for ME.. well- not judging by my persistence and actual desire to get my ass up and work. another reason why i don't think i'm living in the correct environment (this particular state) to really thrive and make myself TRULY CONSTRUCTIVE. i got asshole relatives underestimating me here for their own fuckin convenience- guess what dicks? BEING UNEMPLOYED KILLS MY MENTAL HEALTH. if you were as damn smart as you try to make yourself out to be amanda- YOU'D RECOGNIZE THAT BY THE TONES OF MY BLOG POSTS. you're lucky that i take my frustration out just blogging.. if i didn't have a blog or anywhere else to write this shit in- i'd probably be in a casket in a grave right now. my previous care coordinator used to say i was "all talk, no action." i was thinking.. she probably said that SAME thing to her son who ended up committing suicide. don't underestimate people with brain injuries.. we mean what we say. IF you REALLY cared- YOU'D REALIZE THIS AND ACTUALLY *SUPPORT* ME THE WAY I WANT. i suppose that doesn't matter to you seeing as you could care LESS about ME.
oh! i see i also have a phone interview with an insurance company tomorrow morning. i'm not sure if they'll want an in-person interview to decide to hire me? because i'm at the "in-person" interview with a hotel tomorrow afternoon. i'm pretty sure that's the last stage to hiring but i'm trying to keep my options open.

i'm on lists!

i got on indeed this morning and i see the hotel i was interviewing with at 8 am on friday switched my interview to 2 on thursday which accomodates me a lot better. i was prepared to get up at like 6 am on friday morning but i really didn't want to.
i received a letter from the boston housing authority today confirming that i was added to one or more waiting lists for housing. i'm pretty sure i picked at least 4 or 5 waiting lists to be added to when i was applying for this housing authority. i had thought that maybe i should register for medical assistance/insurance to be prepared, so i'm not forced to go without health care but the ics worker told me that he couldn't help me with that until i know a residence i'll be living at. i suppose i'll be forced to pay outta pocket for medical assistance in boston until my insurance kicks in but that's pretty much anywhere you move. i'm pretty healthy but i seem to have shitty luck and shit seems to go wrong for me at the worst times. those are the sacrifices and gambles a person has to make to progress in life though.

struggling to find something that will *ACTUALLY* HELP me.

i was just thinking while doing my standing exercises this evening about when i went to a physical therapy appointment in gillette and they put some scanner thing over my body and it somehow helped my balance. i think my balance was worse then but i'm not sure if it'd help me now.. i'm willing to try anything (but mindlessly attend some overrated pathetic excuse of a "rehabilitation center" more time and money for my services NOT to help me progress in my condition, only waste my time). another major reason why i'm moving is because NO ONE that supposedly "cares" about me is willing to take my opinion of the dump into consideration like i'm actually telling the truth because they could care less about my life and what's REALLY best for me if it doesn't benefit them in some way (except JOE of course.. who is more than likely from the more intelligent side of the family..). amanda gets benefits from me attending that shithole because her in-law is a physical therapist there and she'd appear "caring" and "supportive" for getting her another mindless, vulnerable client to RE-attend the sorry excuse of an "institute"! ever consider ACTUALLY COMMUNICATING with your family member who you're supposedly SUPPOSED to actually assist them in becoming successful and productive?! *GASP* i remember talking to my psychologist a while ago about this and she said the problem with my family is that they don't communicate- i try to talk to them and it doesn't matter (she acknowledged that i actually make an effort to communicate with them and i DON'T mean talking to my mom about her damn dogs). another reason why i don't see a reason to remain in a state where communicating with people who SUPPOSEDLY "care" about you is like pulling teeth. i don't see any reason to try to make shit work between us when it would require me to sink down to their level because MISERY LOVES COMPANY! do the work to make yourself decent fucking people or kiss my ass and leave me alone. i'm not dealing with this shit anymore. i'm just gonna continue trying to get a decent job to take my mind off my bullshit life.

mind on the prize.

i applied to a hotel in minneapolis yesterday and they requested an interview tomorrow, i'm volunteering at sabathani tomorrow at the time they requested, so i requested an interview on friday and the only available times for an interview was at 8, so i took that time. i'll probably have to get up at at least 6 that day to be guaranteed to be on time for the interview because it takes 20 minutes to get there from here. they haven't accepted the request yet but i just requested it about 15 minutes ago. i hope that a hotel will actually give me an opportunity to get my feet wet in the hospitality category of jobs. i've worked customer service jobs in the past and took information technology classes, along with worked with databases and computers at my last job at accord and pc's for people. so i'm pretty sure my experience adds up to a hospitality job along with my attitude to have the desire to work and help others. HOPEFULLY this will land me a job with a hotel soon.

cause of weakness?

i'm not sure if i'm just being paranoid or overly cautious but i'm wondering if the woman i went to have ARP treatments didn't somehow suck my strength outta my arms with this one device which kinda rolled over my muscles and i think it made weird noises. i'm not exactly sure of the purpose of sucking strength outta arms? i don't really remember feeling any stronger after she did my treatments. i remember actually feeling stronger after tram did ARP treatment on me a long time ago though. she claimed her assistant would call me to set up more appointments and i haven't received a call in about a month. these people are more concerned about money than a person's health. when i say "these people" i mean the lady who gave me ARP treatment and my trustee. my trustee also because she tried explaining to me that i wouldn't be able to take the trip to mexico and i might be able to take a trip next year.. when brian was my trustee, i took a trip EVERY year. somehow it's different now? they work for the same damn bank and i wanted to take the trip for my birthday because i've never returned to the place where i was BORN (chichuahua, mexico). i tried to explain that it was even more significant to me because i wanna take the trip on my FORTIETH birthday but my trustee didn't seem to give a fuck. so i'm a weak moron who people think they can just work whenever they feel like it. good thing i see my psychologist tomorrow because i'm holding back tears frustratingly typing this out. bet the person responsible for my tbi doesn't have to worry about whether he's ever gonna get to drive again and if he can take trips.. oh can't forget, whether he's physically strong enough to perform simple activities. i lift weights and do the stretches i was given EVERY single day. i also walk up and down the hallway of this apartment for 15 minutes EVERY day. it doesn't fuckin pay to do anything anymore. people continue to underestimate me anyway. it's times like these where i wish i was ACTUALLY drinking when i was in the car accident i was in. i don't drink beer- the smell of the shit makes me gag.. but i'm pretty sure that's what tim was drinking during our accident and i'm sure he would've given me some- he more than likely offered. IF i HAD been drinking- the alcohol would've paralyzed my immune system like it did to tim's and i more than likely wouldn't have came outta the accident with a tbi.. i'm not really sure of what happened to the car in the area of the car that i was in.. so it's either my immune system being paralyzed by alcohol (similar to the driver's experience) or i would've ended up like the guy in back- who died.. but at least i wouldn't have to deal with jackasses telling me i can't do things when i CAN and i've went through driver's behind-the-wheel training paid outta pocket because stupid courage kenny claimed i needed to pay for lessons after i failed their stupid driver's behind-the-wheel test and then i took the damn ridiculous excuse of a rehabilitation center's behind-the-wheel test again and the fuckers still failed me- claiming i needed more therapy. I AM MORE AMBULATORY THAN SOME OF THE OTHER PEOPLE I'VE SEEN DRIVING VEHICLES. they can go FUCK THEMSELVES- I DO HAVE BETTER FUCKING THINGS TO DO WITH MY LIFE BESIDES HAUL MY ASS TO SOME "REHABILITATION CENTER" DOING THE SAME DAMN MACHINES THAT MY FUCKIN LIVING ROOM WALL COULD OPERATE AND MINDLESSLY THINK I'M ACTUALLY GETTING STRONGER EVERY FUCKING DAY. THAT SHIT DOES NOT WORK ON MY DAMN BALANCE IN ORDER FOR ME TO WALK. brian lies to amy and denies he paid for any lessons. i should see if i have any emails from a long time ago to prove it. no.. i remember my care coordinator bringing up some driving lessons company that said i was alright when i drove, i just needed to get a vehicle to take the behind-the-wheel test and i told brian that and he said he couldn't buy an unlicensed driver a vehicle. i wish i would've died in the accident. naive, entitled parents of the reason why i got my tbi and almost died can call me "ungrateful" OR WTF THEY WANT. calling me "ungrateful" will NOT make you look better to our creator. it won't erase your sins. gonna have to try something else in order to make up for ULTIMATELY being responsible for the victims of your son's foolishness. attacking the victims and calling them "ungrateful" will NOT help your fate. i guarantee that.
as i sit here thinking about it.. i'm gonna tell amy that if i can't take that trip to mexico for my birthday- i want another bank to handle my money. amanda is probably laughing at me now, saying i'm too stupid to find a new bank or financial institute to handle my money. if that's the case- i also want a new "advocate" because your naive ass has been NOTHING but a weight on my progression in life. i'm not kidding either. my grandma naively CLAIMED that "amanda has all these plans for you when i die! she's gonna get you living in new york and make sure you get your driver's license back along with a vehicle you can drive!" has she done ANY of that? HELL NO.

continuing to move..

i spoke with the ics worker and they assisted me to switch my residency (i think that's what it's called) to a massachusetts citizen. he said he wasn't gonna help me switch my medical insurance yet, seeing as we're not exactly positive which city i'll be living in.
i was thinking about what pushed me to move from this state and i'm going to honestly put this on my mom and amanda, the rest of my family who didn't recognize what i'm TRULY capable of for their convenience. old people don't have patience with anything to recognize what they're truly capable of because they really don't have time- don't drag me down with your unsuccessful, lame asses. negativity loves company and you AIN'T GETTIN IT FROM ME. my family assumes that just because i was distracted with courage kenny when my grandma was alive- i wanna keep going to that sad excuse of a "rehabilitation institute" because i'm stupid because i have a traumatic brain injury and i don't know better. institute is correct.. mental institute where the people that work there depend on the naivity of their clients so they can just avoid helping them to ACTUALLY PROGRESS with their lives- so they continue giving them business, thinking they're not getting more healthy or able to do things so they should continue attending that shit in hopes to get better. their favorite clients are the ones who have money and no advocacy! *CLAPS* i tried putting courage kenny on my resume and employers rightfully ignored it. that place is just ruining my potential and if people REALLY cared about me- they'd realize that. they just care about appearing as if they're really caring to other people while TOTALLY ignoring EVERYTHING i've been through and STILL managed to do. they don't wanna see anyone who came from the same place they did do better than them because it'll make them look insignificant like they couldn't accomplish the same things and i'm in worse condition than they are (or so EVERYONE and their mom assumes just because that's more easier for them). they underestimated me at that dump so they could continue having me do the SAME shit and not get any better/stronger. they didn't work on ANY of the goals i wanted to complete. i'm ONLY walking because my grandma went out and found tram holloway, who hooked me up to his arp machine and literally got my ass outta my wheelchair. courage kenny said STRAIGHT OUT to me that they didn't want me to show up at their shithole without something assisting me to walk because of LIABILITY. my ass. IF they were as good of a "rehabilitation institute" as they lie and say they are- LIABILITY SHOULDN'T MATTER. since i remember that place being covered with mats. stop treating me like i'm as STUPID as YOU and EVERYONE who's actually stupid enough to believe you actually help your clients. go distract some other idiot, i'm sick of your shit and the people from my family who still believe they're helping me are FUCKING STUPID because i KNOW they know my side of the story and they don't take in consideration of how i think that place is just some WASTE OF TIME DISTRACTION. so if you wanna know why i wanna move from minnesota, AMANDA AND MY MOM (since i remember amanda asking me why i wanted to move to new york when i have "EVERYTHING I NEED IN MINNESOTA!".. LOOK IN THE MIRROR. THERE'S YOUR ANSWER. NO.. I DO NOT HAVE "EVERYTHING" I NEED HERE. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED HERE.) people here try to see EVERYTHING i CAN'T do and underestimate me because it's easier for them and they assume it makes them look better. i'm gonna go nuts if i try to explain this again to you idiots.

slowly moving..

i called both my trustee and case manager about this apartment in boston and i'm pretty sure i have things starting to get lined up to actually move there. i toured a unit from this particular apartment last time i took my trip to boston. my case manager had asked me about what i was gonna do for medical services, if i had that planned out yet, i asked her to look into transferring my services. they gotta have a low-income option insurance in boston, maybe it's not as good as minnesota (since amanda seems to think minnesota is the best for health care.. i'm not sure when she studied the medical profession and how she became so damn smart on medical resources while doing hair.. but that's another reason why i don't find ANY good reasons to remain in this state- she assumes she can be neglectful as possible just because SHE SAYS "minnesota is the best for health care!".. i also wasn't aware in her experience PERSONALLY dealing with health care which is best for TBI's *rolls eyes*). i remember when i was looking into moving to new york, wells fargo hired a consultant to assist me in moving and all the things i needed to get lined up. the main reason why i didn't move to new york then was because housing was so difficult in new york to get. i DO remember her bringing me a little packet of health providers in new york to look at. considering one of my trustees convinced me she was too expensive to keep- i had to get rid of her. so i'll try to do this myself. i suppose it could be a good thing that i try to be as resourceful as possible when doing everything i do, since the woman my grandma was CONVINCED would "get me to new york" basically pushed me on a boat in a river without an oar or paddle to assist me in moving myself up the stream because she doesn't find any interest in MY GOALS, screaming at me, "YOU GOT THIS!" in order to show her useless idea of "support" and it's just an inconvenience to actually assist me in something she doesn't personally find interest in- which shows her amount of "care" for me, besides that- it's more amusing for her to watch me struggle, so she can laugh at me with my other cousin dustin. it's just easier and more convenient for her to keep me as handicap/disabled as possible.. especially since she can gain points with her in-laws while her sister-in-law (i think) works as a physical therapist at courage kenny even though i went there already for at least 3 or 4 damn years and my grandma CLAIMED EVERY NIGHT that amanda will "get you {me} to new york!" after i would cry to her about how i was wasting my time and life at courage kenny because they refused to recognize my potential and ability for their advantage. IF YOU WANNA SEE SOMEONE WASTE THEIR FUCKING TIME AT COURAGE KENNY, YOU ATTEND THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A "REHABILITATION INSTITUTE". QUIT YOUR JOB AND WASTE YOUR TIME BEING UNDERESTIMATED BY THEM, KEEPING YOU THERE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL ADVOCATE FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY PROGRESS AND ACTUALLY MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF!.. that IS what they did to ME afterall!

here's some more to laugh at.. i'm *ACTUALLY* trying to change my situation! ha.. what an idiot!

i was eating the ugali fredrick made me for lunch and i looked at my calendar on the wall and said to myself, "it feels like i should be doing something.." then i got up from the table and looked- i had written that i had spanish at 1. it was like 12:30 and it takes 20 minutes to get to spanish, so i gathered my things and told fredrick that i had spanish and i had to go. so we locked my door and i called my ride and waited. i was thinking and i'm pretty sure kristi nome is looking at my facebook timeline because of a picture of the graffiti i took a picture of yesterday when coming back from work. someone sprayed "HANG NOME AND SMITH".. i found it funny because that'd be like what they've caused a lot of people to have done to them/or killed them in another way- so it'd be like giving them a taste of their own medicine. then i see today that someone with an account with kristy nome's name is looking at my account. i better not get in trouble for that shit- ALL i did was simply make an observation with my camera on my cellphone. it's not like I sprayed that shit on the wall (even if i did find it amusing), there's NO possible way I could physically get my little ass up on that wall and spray paint that on the wall. it was smart but something i wouldn't be physically capable of doing. if they would for some reason deport me- I'D BE ALL FOR IT! A REASON TO RELOCATE! THAT WAY I'D HAVE TO MOVE AND AMANDA AND MY MOM COULDN'T STOP IT BY NOT ASSISTING ME TO GET THE APPROPRIATE RESOURCES TO DO SO. MAGA AMANDA! YOU VOTED FOR THIS SHIT!
i've made the decision to look at other places besides new york and i'm actually making an iniative to move my ass (seeing as i AM capable of doing it- i've already moved to 3 different locations when it comes to living in this opportunity-less state- seeing as the person my grandma CLAIMED would help me- just neglects me and my goals because she tells everyone i'm too dumb and handicapped to do it on my own). so i got a response email/letter dated yesterday's date stating that if i didn't get back to the housing company with the information they wanted in 10 days- my name would be taken off the waiting list. i forwarded my trustee this email yesterday when i got it AND left my trustee a voicemail requesting this information AGAIN reminding her how irresponsible it would be of her NOT to provide the information they requested BY THE DEADLINE. they asked me for some other information while my trustee was getting the tax information to her and zen and abdul claimed they couldn't help me if my trustee didn't get the tax information to the company. i'm telling my trustee that if she doesn't get this tax information to the appropriate people by the 17th of this month- she can find a new job along with amanda acting as my "advocate". you dicks think that i'm some kind of mentally disabled pawn that you can use and step on whenever it's fucking convenient to you. i'm also telling the only person that really seems to give a fuck about me psychologically if you asses continue to try to cause my life to go in regression or weigh me down so i can be as unaccomplished and negative as amanda and my mom.. i say unaccomplished about amanda because she doesn't wanna help anyone else progress with their lives ESPECIALLY if it inconveniences her perfect lame life. my grandma assumed that amanda would actually help me because she assumed she had her own hair salon- so she'd be knowledgable economically.. well- my grandma was OBVIOUSLY getting naive at her old age, she failed to pay attention to the fact that amanda never really was in my life enough to really know ME and actually have the desire to help me (in a way which wasn't just beneficial/convenient to HER). there's no way she could really help me in the way I want because it's inconvenient for her. i still remember my grandma saying to me a couple times on the phone, pleading for me to have the desire to move somewhere else besides new york and now that i finally figure out somewhere else- PEOPLE CONVENIENTLY JUST FUCKING IGNORE IT. she did NOT tell me that i SHOULD waste my fucking life in THIS particular state. she was even supportive when my uncle todd moved to WYOMING. this really isn't any fucking different considering i have the resources and i found the appropriate resources to do it but close-minded lame IGNORANT jackasses don't seem to want to simply hand over the proper information to help me move. you people think you're smart. well guess what? WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT IN LIFE TO LOSE BECAUSE IT WAS ALL TAKEN FROM YOU IN AN ACCIDENT- YOU DON'T REALLY SEEM TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING. HAVEN'T YOU GENIUSES EVER HEARD THAT A PERSON WITH NOTHING TO LOSE IS THE MOST DANGEROUS PERSON? THAT'S WHERE I AM. HELP ME IN THE WAY I WANT OR I WILL MAKE MY AND YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL. "OH BUT SHE'S TOO STUPID! SHE'S MENTALLY DISABLED AND ALL TALK!" we'll fucking see. i just got off the phone with someone from this apartment and they wanted to know what size my toilet seat cover was so they could order some toilet risers and they said the other modifications i requested were rejected by this aparment management company because they got a call from the housing company i'm talking to about me moving, so they don't wanna drill anything in the wall and make modifications if i'm going to be moving anyway. i said, "well i'm not POSITIVE i'm moving because my trustee hasn't even provided the APPROPRIATE INFORMATION to the housing company.. she's DRAGGING HER FEET WHEN THEY GAVE ME TEN DAYS TO GET THE APPROPRIATE INFORMATION TO THEM." so this ALL rests on my financial worker. the thought that if brian was still my trustee- HE'D HAVE HAD THIS TAX INFORMATION TO THE HOUSING COMPANY YESTERDAY. my life continues to DIGRESS.. i'm not progressing to where I wanna be in life. THANKS FOR NOTHING AMANDA. I'LL DIE AN UNACCOMPLISHED DISABLED BUM JUST LIKE YOU'RE AIMING FOR ME TO BE. LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER. THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKERS GET NOT HELPING ME GET WHERE I WANT TO BE IN LIFE AND IT AIN'T GONNA GET BETTER IF YOU DICKS CONTINUE TO BE UNHELPFUL, SELFISH PRICKS. YOU MORONS STILL THINK MY MOM CAN'T READ- I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.. SHE CAN READ WHEN SHE FUCKING FEELS LIKE IT. SHE SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I SAY ON MY BLOG. MY PSYCHOLOGIST SAID THAT MY SISTER PROBABLY READS IT TO HER- THAT'S A POSSIBILITY BUT WHEN MY MOM HAS PERSONALLY SPOKE TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID ON MY BLOG- I GOT THE FEELING THAT SHE READ IT PERSONALLY. YOU CHOOSE MY BEHAVIOR TO YOU. I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. NOW YOU CAN LAUGH WITH DUSTIN AGAIN ABOUT HOW I THINK I'M GONNA MOVE. i thought family was supposed to be "CARING" and "SUPPORTIVE". not inconsiderate, selfish asses.

another interview in the books.

i just got back from another job interview. my job coach brought me to the interview- it was about 30 min. away.. so needless to say- if i don't get this job, i don't think i'll lose sleep. it was for a front desk/receptionist job.. i think it was around brooklyn center because that's the only town sign i remember seeing. my job coach sat in on the interview and she agreed with me, i didn't make any mistakes or say anything wrong- but i don't think i said anything that impressed the woman- so i'd stand out from other people interviewing though. i'm not sure she was impressed to give me the job right away.. i'm pretty sure i read somewhere you're supposed to say something that would impress the employer and stand out- which i'm almost positive i didn't do. at least i didn't make a mistake and say something stupid like every other interview. i was talking to my job coach on the way home and she complimented me on being so proactive on the job searches and said she's got a list of employers for receptionist jobs but she hasn't had to look at any of them because i always schedule a new interview. i really didn't know she had this list.. it probably would've helped me a lot.