handling situations *CALMLY*

i had my session with my therapist and i told her about how some lady called sabathani community center upset that they overcharged her for space that she already paid for. i said, "i even said i'm pretty sure right away that i wished scott was here so he could help them (since he always manages to come when i have questions and i'm stuck on exactly what to say) and the lady said, "WHO'S SCOTT!" and i told her that he was the supervisor and he could help her.. then she started attacking how i didn't sound interested in her issue and she started to attack how i sounded so bored, then i said, "and i just took a deep breath and finally said to her "LISTEN HERE.. I'VE HAD FOUR THROAT SURGERIES SO I CAN SPEAK BETTER.. I DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU GIVING ME PROBLEMS!" and then i told her scott luckily walked in the room and said, "HEY STACY! WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!" and i handed him the phone while telling him to talk to her about renting a space and he did talk to her and made things right. then my psychologist said exactly what i said when i first spoke about the situation and said, "she was probably looking for the first person she came across to take out her frustrations on.." and i said, "yeah! that's EXACTLY what i said." i don't remember the last time somebody gave me issues or had a problem with how i dealt with things (like the lady complaining how i sounded uninterested in her problem). nobody ever approached me about any issues or problems they had with me anyway and i'm sure scott or another person would've came to me about it, just suggesting ways to deal with the problems or complaints they'd get. my therapist said i handled the situation well though. you're just not gonna make EVERYONE happy all the time. scott's suggestion was to kill 'em with kindness. in my opinion though, i was being kind because ANY other time (outside of sabathani)- i would've gave the woman a piece of my mind. it also probably helped that it was towards the end of the day and i was feeling kinda too tired to deal with anyone's shit- so i just let it slide.

waitlist.

well.. fredrick told me that he'd come make me breakfast this morning and leave, then come back to work at 3 today. he never came this morning and when i call him, i get the message saying, "the person that you are calling is not able to take calls at this time right now.". i hope he's alright. i made myself breakfast and i must've made myself a lot of malt-o-meal because i'm not REALLY hungry right now. the ics helped me check on housing.. i could've sworn that i was on the top of this one waiting list when zen was working here but now that i've checked with them- they said it'll probably be at least 10 yrs until i get to the top of it again. another ics worker just helped me check on one of the apartments and i could've sworn they said i was like #64.. i need to look which apartment that was now. oh yeah.. here it is. i'm not sure if this is the one i just called today and i feel like they might've told me a different number (unless it's my stupid memory placing false information in my brain again).. hm.. wtf.. it IS the same apartment we called today and they told me 88. oh well.. hopefully i get there before they shove me in a nursing home first (since no one cares to advocate for me to make sure they don't try to stick me in one- even though my grandma was STRICTLY against nursing homes.. especially since i'm not elderly). considering no one gives a fuck to make sure i get there faster when i KNOW it's within their abilities. i gotta go let my therapist in now. hopefully she'll help me out with this shit.

turn off.

one thing that turned me off tim was how he seemed to make an issue with my height. it's bad enough having shitty genes from my short ass parents- i don't need someone to basically use it against me and basically rub it in my face when it's something i CAN'T control. although i'm pretty sure he was trying to find the only flaw he could about me after he met me. i never complained or made any issues about his appearance. i'm also pretty sure he was trying to prove to his wife how he didn't show any attraction to me by pointing out my flaws. whatever. if someone has to go out of their way and say mean things about their friend's appearances JUST to prove they're not attracted to them- they're clearly insecure and should work on the trust and honesty part of their relationship so they're more secure about how they feel about friends and their connections to them, not to mention- they're not very good "friends" to me because you don't see me insulting anything about his appearance- in fact, i don't really remember insulting him at all. i'm sure they're more secure now though.. after a few years and i think they've raised a family together- which probably helps. i wouldn't know and i'm not sure i'll ever know about how families work and are ran because i don't wanna pass down generational trauma- which i'm POSITIVE was passed down on my mom's side. my mom is too stupid to recognize she's traumatized her own daughter.. or i could just use the word "selfish" and "uncaring" to describe how she feels also. i don't wanna take it out on another human being so they can continue the abusive cycle. i don't wanna take any risks- so birth control for me. some of us aren't selfish bums. i recognize having a child requires lots of love and responsibility and i'm not sure it's for me because i have enough to worry about at this point in my life. she never treated my sister the way she treats/treated me.. or my brother for example. i think it's got something to do with our fathers.. my brother and i have a different father than my sister and she may just have more spite for our father- so she takes it out on us and favors my sister.

a few things from my memory that keep bothering me.

i was thinking about how my grandma always used to tell me that i "changed". A PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE. i kinda think that she said i changed because she was always trying to scare me into just agreeing with her and doing what she wanted- so she didn't think i changed. she was trying to make change seem negative. what EXACTLY about me "changed"? i step back and look at the BIGGER PICTURE. i ran away from home to new york because i WANTED change so bad. I WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT SATISFIED WITH MY SITUATION IN LIFE. so much as i was even willing to LOSE it all, so i could get to where i was actually satisfied in life. i'm not excusing it. i should've been more patient.. but i was a punk kid that thought the world revolved around me and i was willing to grab any opportunity available as soon as it came to me. at least i didn't drop out of school when i was 12 (never to return) though. i, at least, am taking steps to get my life back and constructively- UNLIKE certain sisters who live to read my blog in hopes she'll turn into me- not gonna happen tubs, ESPECIALLY since you can't even get your high school diploma which jobs REQUIRE a person to have (you're not gonna be lucky all the time to have an uncle who can get you a job without it all the time). i don't know what "changed".. i was ALWAYS NEVER satisfied with where i was in life. i knew i was capable of MORE and if you wanna go assuming you know everything about my life and tell your daughter and daughter-in-law how i'm "ungrateful" just to make yourself look good- GO RIGHT AHEAD! at least i'm helping someone.. i guess.. let foolish people try to make themselves look smart. doesn't matter to me because she doesn't have ANY control over where i end up. NOBODY but ME does. apparently i'm UNGRATEFUL for having the knowledge that i'm capable of MORE than just depending on social security and staying by a bunch of unsupportive honkeys who only support me when it's convenient and/or beneficial to THEM. shit on me. i'm more than likely never gonna drop this "ungrateful" shit because it's so UNTRUE and it's wild that someone thinks they can get away with that lie to make themselves appear better and more holy. where'd it say in the bible that it was okay for a person's son to drink and drive while putting his two friends' lives at risk? then he's AUTOMATICALLY forgiven because Christ forgives us of our sins for putting his son to death. i don't think any of this makes sense.. just as long as her family comes out on top! DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES ARE THAT A VICTIM HAS TO GO THROUGH! JESUS SAYS FORGIVE! EVEN AFTER 6 MONTHS IN A COMA AND 15 SOME YEARS WHEELCHAIR-BOUND! DOESN'T MATTER THAT I HAD GOALS TO BE A DOCTOR AND GTFO OF THIS STATE EVEN BACK THEN! I "CHANGED" THOUGH! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT BECAUSE IT TELLS ME EXACTLY WHO YOU CARE ABOUT AND IT AIN'T ME! get bent. mind your business.

morning thoughts.

as i was lying in bed this morning before i actually got outta bed (and before i got up to leave fredrick in my apartment this morning), i was thinking about how nolan's friend erik had been put in a mental institute (i'm not sure if he's still there.. i doubt it). the reason for that is more than likely because mississippi has a shitty mental health program and they more than likely assume anyone who has went through anything traumatic should be institutionalized because they think it's easier than working with the person through therapy- not to mention.. cheaper also. he's more than likely not crazy.. if you think about it- wouldn't you go crazy if your friend was murdered and you were accused for the murder (i'm not positive IF they did do it but i'm positive they know what happened to him)? some "friends" they are.. being the poster-children for grump at his rally.. he doesn't care about them- he doesn't care about anyone but himself and i KNOW nolan would not support his "friends" basically toting getting away with knowing about his death and refusing to give information on it. i didn't know nolan.. but if he had ANY respect- he wouldn't be basically endorsing hate- especially NOT at his cost. erik had to have went through trauma.. the easiest thing for mississippi to do was shove him in a mental institute. HIS "FRIENDS" DON'T GIVE A FUCK! JUST AS LONG AS THEY GET BROADCASTED AND POSTED EVERYWHERE ON SOCIAL MEDIA! they assume it makes them look "smart" or wtf.. if they REALLY cared about nolan and respected him- they'd be negotiating and seeing what they could do to make his family feel like they have closure without broadcasting it everywhere. what does all this have to do with me? well.. nothing but i'm positive IF erik would have been in this particular state- they'd at least have the mental health resources to actually work with him before just shoving him in a mental institute. i'm pretty sure that might be one of the reasons why amanda is dragging her feet when assisting me to move to a different state- because it's easier for her to assume that none of the other states have medical services that ACTUALLY help a person.. just for her information- massachusetts is ranked right below minnesota for best healthcare (they're #2). i'm willing to take that little step down to actually have the opportunity to live my life- especially if it doesn't include everyone assuming that i'm mentally handicapped just because my mom is. i've done MORE school and worked MORE than she has and she's older than me. we're nothing alike. don't go there. not even to make your responsibilities of "helping" me truly succeed at being SUCCESSFUL easier for you by just convincing me to minimize my potential and capability to make YOU look good to your in-laws and everyone else while disregarding EVERYTHING i've been through to get where i am today. I DIDN'T BUST MY ASS AND LIVE THROUGH A FUCKING COMA FOR 6 MONTHS, at least FIFTEEN YEARS IN A WHEELCHAIR (for my family's ego and convenience), multiple years of therapy JUST TO MAKE MY COUSIN WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT ME WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT AND BENEFICIAL FOR HERTO LOOK AND FEEL BETTER. this is MY life. NOT AMANDA AND NOT MY MOM'S. you guys don't even care about me enough to let me live MY life if it's not convenient and/or beneficial for you.

waitlist..

i remembered the waitlists in the new jersey and massachusetts apartments and i called two of the apartments today. the apartment in massachusetts gave me a waitlist # which moved up 24 spots since i checked in april (i compared the #'s from today to the # and date i had recorded in my cell phone in april). their waitlists move surprisingly fast.. well, i remember when i was on waitlists for apartments in new york, i was always like number 1500 some.. so massachusetts definitely has more apartments available and the waiting lists move fast. i'm just gonna work on staying as active as i possibly can in employment until my time comes because i have a suspicion and hope that i may not have such a difficult time finding employment as i do here (because notably- the employer that i came across during one of my interviews opened my resume up on her computer and said, "you have a lot of administrative work on your resume.. but we're looking for customer service and retail for the most part." then i said, "well.. i ALSO have a lot of customer service experience." then she said, "yeah." not really convinced). i think they more than likely have more administrative jobs in bigger cities. which is why i went through such a delay in my work experience when i moved from apartment to apartment until i FINALLY managed to network to get a volunteer job at sabathani community center from when i volunteered at central honors and why i say philando is my guardian angel because i would more than likely be guaranteed to end up this depressed person from the lack of work experience and something to keep me constructive- i can't remember how many times i used to drive my wheelchair out to the highway and look at it thinking about driving on the highway when i lived in burnsville and nobody would even give me a chance to help/work anywhere. amanda can't honestly tell me she's never spoke bad about people on social security because i heard her husband and her discussing how everyone wants to move to minnesota to get the social security payments and not work because minnesota supposedly had the highest payments in social security money in the country. just inspiring me to move to a different state to get away from idiots who complain about people just trying to live their lives. such a loving and caring family. just making what i originally suspected much more clearer to me and reassuring me that i have absolutely NO value to anyone in this state. you should be happy though and don't try to pretend you actually care about me because your definition of "care" is whatever benefits you and makes it look like you actually care about me.. where were you when i WAS attending courage kenny (before they erased the record of my attendance at that useless facility)? don't tell me that i don't have proof because i have videos on facebook of me walking again on there. IF you cared so damn much about me- you wouldn't expect me to regress my capabilities and rehabilitation i've ALREADY done over 10 years ago. stop trying to be like courage kenny and take advantage of my lack of knowledgable and caring advocacy. my grandma was so wrong about you. she died almost 14 or 15 years ago and i'm still in the same fucking state. the only reason i managed to move from the shithole i was in when she died was because i acted erratically just because people refused to follow the NO SMOKING rules at burnsville. you haven't advocated to help me get anywhere I, THE OWNER OF THIS LIFE, ACTUALLY WANTS to live. NOT WHAT'S MORE CONVENIENT TO PEOPLE WHO ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHEN IT'S BENEFICIAL AND CONVENIENT FOR THEM. i am so beyond disappointed with the sad excuse of "advocacy" and "care" you've shown me as a family member.

reasons for having trouble breathing?

i forgot.. this morning i answered my cell phone and some guy was telling me that he was putting in an estimate to have my cpap fixed and i'm pretty sure he said it was around $6000 or $7000 to get fixed and my insurance was supposed to be 80/20 I THINK and he needed my approval to make the estimate request. i said, "okay. i give you my permission." then when i got off the phone with him, i started to ponder if that meant that I was supposed to pay 20% of the price or 80%.. it better mean 20% because i need that stupid machine or i'm probably gonna start having seizures or something.. or i might just stop breathing while i'm sleeping altogether. i had a coughing fit for no reason yesterday, my throat got dry and i couldn't stop coughing until abdul and fredrick got me water. i was wondering if that could possibly be considered an asthma attack? i'm not sure. i feel like i was told i had asthma when i lived in burnsville and i just stopped using the inhaler, so it eventually was forgot about? or if i'm just imagining that..

caller id's don't show *EVERYTHING* all the time.

i was trying to think of the person who called me today telling me they read my resume and after they interviewed me, they didn't think the position was right for me. then i started to wonder if it was the guy i interviewed with yesterday and i'm not sure if it WAS him.. i need to go check my recent calls- hopefully it lists the name of the caller. damn.. it just says "MINNEAPOLIS, MN". i tried to match the number to the cards i got from different people i interviewed lately and it doesn't match any of them. i should've asked him if he was discriminating against me because i walked with a cane but i was so irritated and turned off by him that i didn't even wanna work in an environment which discriminates against me for walking with a damn cane. this shit will follow me my WHOLE LIFE. hope tim and his stupid bitch sister recognize this shit and consider it the next time they're laughing at me. (although it may make them laugh harder.. what does your mom have to say the bible says about that?) i'm not sure tim laughs at me but since he won't answer the phone when the person he nearly killed calls him, i'm not really sure what to think.

interviews..

i got up and got ready for the day and fredrick came to my place to help me with things. then i caught my lyft ride to my first interview- i don't think i gave myself the proper time to get ready for the interview because as i was calculating the time it'd take to get to my second interview that my job coach said she'd pick me up from the first interview and bring me directly to the second interview- i realized it was only like 10 minutes before my first interview and i remembered it took 15 minutes to get to the interview because i looked last night. then i quick called the ride and i only ended up getting to the interview about 5 minutes late and i don't think the lady who interviewed me made much of an issue about my tardiness. she opened my resume on her computer and said, "well.. judging by your resume.. you have a lot of administrative experience.. we're looking more for customer service experience.." then i quickly said, "i have customer service experience on there too." she DID go out of her way to mention how the job required a lot of walking from apartment to apartment (and since it was a MOTEL- they didn't really have an indoor hallway between all the rooms). so in the back of my mind i said, "so you're basically telling me this won't work for me." but i kept my head up because i'm sure i could've found accomodations to help me until she mentioned that it was basically a full time position and since i don't wanna risk my benefits- i had to tell her that the job couldn't work for me. then, my job coach took me to the second interview today which was at a hotel which i'm almost positive i have interviewed at previously at least once or twice before. the parking lot and lobby of the hotel looked very familiar. i also had the hotel name in my notes app on my cell phone from when i interviewed there before. however- i thought the guy interviewing me was familiar because his voice sounded familiar but the guy i had thought he was was some old white guy.. my job coach said he looked native american. so i'm not sure if it was the same guy. he ALSO went out of his way to mention how the front desk position involved a lot of physical work. he said judging by my resume, i was qualified to do a lot of the work but he wasn't sure if i'd be comfortable working the position because of all the physical work that would be required. i was thinking about what he said and i'm almost positive he told me he'd call me back about if he wanted to hire me or not- this time, he was actually honest not to get my hopes up for the job.. i'm not sure if that's because my job coach was sitting in on the interview or what. i just don't understand why these hotels don't have someone hired for this physical work SPECIFICALLY. last time i went to a hotel, i'm almost positive they had different people hired to specifically assist with the different needs the hotel guest had. i spoke to my job coach on the way back to my place and she said that she was surprised they didn't have people hired SPECIFICALLY to assist with the roles which require physical work too and she'd just help me continue to look for roles which interest me and didn't require physical work.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH

i just got back from the interview at victoria's secret. i was just reminded of why i avoid working at victoria's secret from past interviews at the store before. i was correct.. when i got in there- it was more of a group interview-setting and the other ladies interviewing had experience with retail and fashion in particular (well 2 of the 3 did.. i got the other lady who was interviewing to give me information on the cognitive classes, since she said she was a cognitive coach and i told her i failed my cognitive-driving test and no one was helping me to get classes, so i could pass the test to get my driver's license- the girl said that it's not uncommon for people to LACK support in getting help to get these resources.. "YOU GOT THIS!"). i'm not sure if amanda's smart ass assumes the less i'll be able to do- the less i'll get in trouble. THAT JUST INSPIRES ME TO FIND A WAY TO DO CERTAIN THINGS SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME WITH UNSAFELY. SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT! "YOU GOT THIS!" needless to say- i strongly doubt the manager is gonna get back to me about a job there but i DID manage to schedule TWO interviews back to back tomorrow at two different hotels. so i'm doing my best to make sure i stay BUSY and CONSTRUCTIVE (so NOT being a rehabilitation tool because that makes my uncaring family ACTUALLY appear "supportive" and "caring" because people assume my family supports and cares for me since i'm supposed to be getting therapy. that is so far from the truth. they just enjoy the impression they're supportive and caring while doing absolutely NOTHING to support and/or care for my WELL-BEING since it's not convenient and/or beneficial to them. they all need to mind their damn business and stop being so self-absorbed, entitled, and conceited.*EXCEPT JOE) when i got in my car accident- THERE WERE THREE PEOPLE IN THE CAR. I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF MY FAMILY THERE. THEY HAVEN'T REACHED OUT TO HELP ME, EXCEPT JOE OF COURSE. the rest of them are just there when it's GOOD for THEM. GOD FORBID I CALL AMANDA WHEN I NEARLY CRACK MY HEAD OPEN AND REQUIRE STITCHES IN MY EYE! "YOU GOT THIS!" you need classes on how to support and care for your family members when they nearly die and that DOESN'T include taking the easy way out and relying on some overrated-lousy excuse of a "rehabilitation facility" like courage kenny which i'm pretty sure i went to OVER TWELVE FUCKING YEARS AGO. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING HELPED ONE PERSON WITH A DISABILITY- DOES NOT MEAN IT'LL HELP EVERYONE ELSE. DISABILITIES ARE DIFFERENT AND YOU'D KNOW THAT IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED. you don't have time for that though! because i "GOT THIS"! now.. time to see in about 20 minutes if abdul ACTUALLY helps me with these cognitive classes.. certain people are unempathetic and unwilling to understand the REALITY of being disabled. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO SOMETHING- DOES NOT MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO IT JUST AS EASILY. go watch sesame street and grow a brain AND heart- along with MINDING YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T SUPPORT ANYTHING I AM INTERESTED IN- SO YOU THINK THAT AUTOMATICALLY GIVES YOU PERMISSION NOT TO SUPPORT ME. i hope you all have to depend on nurses or pca's who beat on you and call you names and YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO TELL ANYONE BECAUSE YOU "GOT THIS"! they haven't ever done that to me but then you'd see what it was like to need help and not get support- so it'd be like what i've been forced to go through ever since i was made a vulnerable adult.

who knows..

i want to recognize that the woman who called sabathani today pissed off was the only person SO FAR who has said anything unfavorable about my voice at sabathani community center (well TO ME anyway). other than that- the ONLY person who has bothered to say anything remotely mean or critical of my voice was my grandma when she said, "YOU ALWAYS SOUND SO MAD." i'm not sure if she was just trying to find something bad about me to criticize me like narcissistic people do though. don't get me wrong. she wasn't ALWAYS a narcissist- she just had her moments and i'm pretty sure that everyone does. i'm not gonna take this personally though, considering she's the very first person at sabathani to have an issue with my voice (that i'm aware of).. she might've just been pissed off about being over-charged and tried to find anything wrong with the first person she came across.

my savior

so scott helped me again while answering the phone- he has a tendency to show up when i get stuck answering the phone. some lady called and told me how she paid for office space to help a group of kids do something and they still say she hasn't paid for the space in a frustrated tone, i had connected her to jen's number because that's who she asked for first. well, then the call didn't connect through because sabathani is moving their offices- so the phone lines are down until they get everything remodeled. i had answered the phone the second time when her phone didn't get connected to jen's number and she said, "I TRY TO DO THINGS FOR THIS COMMUNITY AND YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN GET IT RIGHT." then i said to her, "well. i'm sorry- if scott was here, i'd connect you to him but i'm pretty sure i seen him leave." then she felt the need to make fun of my voice. she said, "AND YOU DON'T EVEN SOUND INTERESTED LIKE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO HELP ME! LIKE YOU'RE TOO BORED TO CARE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" i held my temper for too long.. she decided to insult ME when all i was fuckin trying to do was HELP her. i took a deep breath and said, "I'VE HAD THREE DAMN SURGERIES ON MY THROAT. I DON'T NEED YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME." then scott walked out and said, "hey stacy! what's goin on?!" then i said to him, "oh! i thought you left! HERE TALK TO HER. she's yelling about paying for rented space and sabathani saying she didn't pay." then i handed him the phone. he apologized to her and said, "well.. i'm sorry.. they volunteer here.. they didn't see me come in the back door because i left earlier out the front entrance and i just snuck back in the back door. jen went out for the day and we're remodeling our offices- so our phones aren't connected yet." then he told her to email jen and gave her jen's email address and hung the phone up. then i said to him, "THANKS! i thought you left and i didn't really know what to do because she started attacking the way i speak when i didn't even say anything wrong to her." then he said, "that's ok! heh.. you just gotta kill 'em with kindness." i feel like he's told me that a long time ago.. might've been when i was getting trained in. the lady can't be doing that fuckin much for the community if she's insulting a person who is volunteering their time to help the community. she's also probably lucky because it was the end of the day and i felt too tired to deal with anybody's shit but i always keep in mind that i'm working a job and that's why i just hung the phone up the first time when she decided to insult me because i didn't wanna risk my temper flaring up because i KNOW i would've lost my position volunteering there if i said what i really wanted to say.

Deja-vu

i also received a call from a lady about interviewing at a place i could've sworn i've interviewed at before once or twice. maybe they have new leadership a lot. i guess i'll just have to wait.

probably another dud or something other than what *I* thought.

i told the ics worker about how i got a message from some company that wants to know if i'd be available for an interview tomorrow. the ics worker was gonna help me find out the address to the company. the only thing we could really find was some store in the airport. this employer sounds familiar to me. i'm THINKING that i remember interviewing for them (since it's IN the airport) and they wanted the workers to do a lot of physical work- like moving airline ramps off the runway. i'm not exactly sure WHY these employers assume i'm capable of all this PHYSICAL work. i don't have any work experience which requires physical work on my resume. i probably disappoint them when they see WHO stacy carmona IS physically. i'll read the job description again to make sure but i think ALL they want from a worker is someone who can work in their stores at the airport. heh *shrugs* i can do that. i'll probably be shown that i made a mistake in applying to this job.. but i guess i won't know until i see PERSONALLY MYSELF.
alright.. the lady who asked about the job just got back to me. she wants to do a microsoft teams meeting with me first. so it's not AS MUCH pressure on me. i hope she doesn't get the idea that i'm an overconfident moron because i had assumed she just wanted to do an in-person interview with me first. at least she'll see that i'm not capable of moving airline ramps and/or any other physical work.

another possibility?

i got a text today from some employer that i applied for a job to work there a few weeks ago. she asked me if i could come for an interview tomorrow at 10. i told her that i could and i seen that i had scheduled my interview with victoria's secret that afternoon. so at least i SHOULD have time in between to go straight to the next interview if i plan on attending both. i'm not really sure victoria's secret will give me a job partially because i don't have any retail experience and partially because i'm not sure if they'll discriminate against me because i walk with a cane. i know people are probably saying, "WELL THEY CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S ILLEGAL!" how am i supposed to prove that they discriminated against me for my disability though? most people try not to make it obvious when they're discriminating. plus, i'm pretty sure this other employer may have a better chance at hiring me.