I "GOT THIS"! REMEMBER THAT ISH?!

when i met with the ics today, i checked my email and i found a reply to when i sent the lady who's in charge of the apartments that i'm applying to in boston. she told me that she needed the application, i thought zen sent her an application but i sent her one anyway today. so HOPEFULLY this gets me closer. i think back to a conversation that i had with my friend crystal's mom and she was encouraging me not to listen to what anyone else says because it's MY life. then i said, "well people talk.." and she reassured me by saying, "there are so many other people in this world. NO ONE cares what you do but YOU." so i don't really understand exactly WHY my own mom and sister seem to act so concerned with what I do. the only answer i have to that is: MISERY LOVES COMPANY. THEY did NOT bust their asses off in school (TWO of my years in high school i attended in an ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR) and THEY did NOT graduate with HONORS (they also did NOT drive their electric wheelchairs up the podium on graduation day to accept their diplomas). they also did NOT go onto work their asses off in rehabilitation so they could live independently. i never thought my OWN fuckin family would be so unencouraging and selfish of my goals. this is MY life. do you think that MAYBE you should focus on your OWN lives before trying to drag me down to your level? just fuckin mind your own business. when and if i call my mom during emergencies- she always acts like it's the end of the world and blows shit outta proportion. YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING OUTTA ACTING LIKE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME. tell me- did you care this much about me when i used to go to your place when you lived in the apartment that grandpa owned and you'd leave me at your place alone when i was in a wheelchair and you'd always wanna go out to the bar to play pool or screw around with your little boyfriend carlos? and it got to the point where grandma came into town to sit with me a few times when my mom was too damn selfish to sit with her own daughter.. but now that i actually have things going for me- i'm expected to downgrade my potential and ability JUST for my mom who only gave a shit about me when it's convenient for HER?! nonono. kiss my ass. it's not like i got pregnant at 12 and dropped outta school- never to return. sound FAMILIAR, amy?! worry about your OTHER fucking daughter who obviously needs more help than i do- with all of her damn kids. i'm a g. i always find a way to get outta shit. i've been surviving since i was 16.. so at least 23 years. stop acting like you actually fucking care just because i seem to be the only child of yours who really cares about you because one day, i might just stop altogether because i'm tired of this shit. if you anuses don't stop and realize that you're fucking wasting your time.. i am just gonna stop dealing with you altogether. that's probably amanda's goal- SO WHY THE FUCK CAN'T ANY OF YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN?!

bump

i'm not sure why i woke up at about 4:30 am this morning.. i turned on the tv and i have my bedroom tv turned onto cartoon network, dragonballz was actually on. so that's where cartoon network moved it to. i remembered that episode that was on today because i remember it was probably one of the first episodes i've seen of dragonballz when i was 14 or 15. then where i hit my head on the chair next to my couch (the other day) started to hurt me. i hope i didn't fuck my head up when i accidentally hit my head on the chair when i was sitting down the other day because now there's a little bump there. fredrick put neosporin on it but i'm not sure it's bleeding because my hair is covering the bump. i don't remember hitting my head for a while til i accidentally did when i sat on my couch. i had a little headache when i sat down and hit my head but i took a tylenol when it hurt. it's not really hurting now unless i press on it.

WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND?!

here's the thing i don't understand.. i OBVIOUSLY have ZERO interest in going BACK to courage kenny and idiots STILL seem to think that's the place for me to be. I WENT THERE FOR AT LEAST 8 YEARS WHILE MY GRANDMA WAS STILL LIVING AND IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I WAS ACTUALLY CRYING BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA GO THERE ANYMORE- THEY WOULDN'T LET ME ACTUALLY PROGRESS BECAUSE OF "LIABILITY".. IN OTHER WORDS- WE WANNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR STUPID ASS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE NO ONE OBVIOUSLY LISTENS TO YOU ANYWAY OR YOU WOULD BE PROGRESSING ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND NOT BEING FORCED TO RETURN TO THIS SAD ASS EXCUSE OF A "REHABILITATION INSTITUTE"! IT'S ALSO AN ADVANTAGE FOR YOU THAT NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO ADVOCATE FOR ME! NO ONE recognizes the shit i went through to get in the condition i'm in now (ambulatory with a cane, living independently with like 5 hours of pca a day). I'M NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF MY TIME FOR A PLACE THAT REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY PROGRESSION JUST FOR THEIR ADVANTAGE. take advantage of some other disabled idiot. so i definitely see no reason to continue wasting my time at some place where they don't recognize how hard i work and my progress. if it would be up to them jerks- I'D STILL BE IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR BECAUSE DISABLED MEANS TOO STUPID TO WORK OR PROGRESS IN LIFE THE WAY I HAD PLANNED IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE BECAUSE THAT'S INCONVENIENT TO THEM AND NEGLIGENT EXCUSES OF "SUPPORT" WHO ALSO IGNORE MY PROGRESS OR HOW I'M DOING BECAUSE *GASP* THAT'S TOO FUCKING INCONVENIENT FOR THEM! I'M NOT my mom- I WASN'T BORN WITH MY DISABILITY. THEIR CONDITION IS ACTUALLY MORE SEVERE THAN MINE BECAUSE IT WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO LAST THROUGH WHEN THEY WERE BORN. I LEARNED ABOUT THAT IN ONE OF THE CLASSES I TOOK AT SUMMIT. ALL this doesn't matter though! I'M CRAZY ACCORDING TO AMANDA AND EVERYONE ELSE TOO INCONVENIENCED TO REALIZE THE TRUTH. dustin would probably fit in that category but the only reason why they even care is because they figure they'll get something outta keeping me in this state where i'm not really successful- just barely getting by since people refuse to recognize my ability and potential. my grandma seen that courage kenny was NOT helpful to me anymore- so she went and found tram holloway and his arp therapy which ACTUALLY HELPED me get on my feet again. HE WASN'T STUCK ON LIABILITY BULLSHIT.
i've been receiving numerous e-mails about jobs lately (well it's been going on for a while now). i'm not sure if i'm getting them because my job coach signed me up for them or if someone else signed me up for them? the thing is, MOST of the jobs that the e-mails advertise are FULL TIME positions (so my social security benefits would be in jeopardy). it sucks that i still have to be stuck working jobs which were probably meant for high schoolers just starting in their occupation but i guess it's better than nothing and someone's gotta work them. i feel like i've been working part-time jobs for at least 10 years now and i THOUGHT workers were supposed to get "promoted" so they could have the ability to work more and higher paying jobs the longer they worked but since i really don't have advocacy to speak up for me- people can continue taking advantage of my lack of advocacy JUST SO THEY'LL HAVE JOBS! I SHOULD BE MORE "GRATEFUL" TO LOOK LIKE A HANDICAP IDIOT WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE AT LEAST THE COST-OF-LIVING! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT! SO STUPID! WHAT THE HELL MAKES ME THINK I CAN MAKE A LIVING WAGE WHEN WORKING?! MY PLACE IS TO GO MINDLESSLY TO COURAGE KENNY SO THEY CAN CONTINUE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY LACK OF ADVOCACY AND DISABILITY! also a reason i refuse to go back to courage kenny because *GASP* I AM CAPABLE OF DOING MORE WITH MY LIFE BESIDES BEING UNDERESTIMATED AND LOOKED AT AS SOME CRAZY, DISABLED, BUM BECAUSE IT'S TOO FUCKING INCONVENIENT FOR ME TO ACTUALLY LIVE AN ACTUAL LIFE! look where i came from! if she can live this way- I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME! RIGHT AMANDA?! even though we have NOTHING alike (not even our brain injuries are the same- my grandma told me that my mom was born with the umbilical chord around her neck- so hers would be a nuchal chord injury which is MORE severe than mine because it happened at birth. i actually am reading on google and i think my mom may have a NON-TRAUMATIC brain injury.. while mine is TRAUMATIC because the injury was caused by a blow to the head. my mom's was caused by internal causes.. so we're different that way also.) I HAVE MORE CAPABILITY THAN TO JUST DEPEND ON STRICTLY SOCIAL SECURITY. the more people refuse to acknowledge that- the more frustrated and unhappy i'll be. my mom and i also differ in the fact that her parents HAD money to assist her during her whole life- so she didn't need to work- whereas my mom DOESN'T have money and my dad is dead. that's also the problem with people like amanda who ignorantly just assume disabled people should just depend on social security because they don't have the capability to do anything besides make "health professionals" look "useful" and it's NOT THEIR problems personally. I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT I EVEN GET MONEY! RIGHT CATHY?! I CORRUPTED YOUR SON INTO DRINKING AND DRIVING, I FORCED THE ALCOHOL DOWN HIS THROAT AND FORCED HIM TO DRIVE WRECKLESSLY SO WE'D GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THIS is just a taste of the shit that goes on in my head during the day. now that i said that- amanda will be looking into mental institutes for me so she can appear "helpful" without ACTUALLY taking the effort to figure out PERSONALLY what's going on with me because IT'S MORE ENTERTAINING NOT TO! she assumes that people who went to college know everything, so they'll help me because they get paid for it- without even considering that MAYBE my problem is that i'm not getting the advocacy to live TRULY CONSTRUCTIVE and USEFUL because WHAT RIGHT DO I HAVE TO LIVE A CONSTRUCTIVE LIFE?! I'M JUST A DISABLED, IDIOT WITH A BRAIN INJURY. RIGHT AMANDA AND MY MOM?! ALSO AMY BECAUSE SHE SEEMS TO HAVE THIS BRIGHT IDEA THAT THE ONLY THING I'M CAPABLE OF IS TO ATTEND THE COURAGE CENTER MINDLESSLY. and i'm convinced she lives to read her crazy ass sister's thoughts on her blog every day, work on gettin your GED. you talk about it enough. talking is NOT the same as actually taking the effort to get it. if you were really so strung on being like your big sis- you'd be getting your damn ged. seeing as i graduated high school with HONORS and was involved in sports before i got into a car accident.

finding new ways and making them work (hopefully)

i had my spanish tutor online today, i had assumed i wouldn't understand a thing but this tutor was actually pretty thorough. he's from peru and i hope i start to understand this again. he said he was surprised at how much knowledge i had about spanish. he took the iniative to notice how well i pronounced the words. i'm pretty sure luis and my other tutor said i had a good pronounciation of the language also.
yesterday at work, the computer was ACTUALLY on- so i didn't need to ask anyone questions as much since i could look on the site myself to see what the person on the phone was asking about. i'm pretty resourceful, so i used the site and figured out what they were asking about. the computer at the desk is an older model i think, which needs to be turned on somewhere on the monitor and i asked google how you turned the computer on a while ago and i couldn't find the button on the monitor- so i always had to ask people questions. it was helpful to have the computer on though. abdul was supposed to come to my apartment to help me scan this application for this apartment but he never showed up at my apartment- so at about 2, i called the office and asked where he was. the ics worker said, "oh. abdul called in sick. so someone else has to help you scan it." i waited like 15 minutes and said to myself, "fuck it- i'll just try to scan it myself." then i went over to my scanner and pushed some buttons and nothing was happening. then i remembered how zen used an app on my phone to control my scanner and i just scanned the damn application myself. i emailed the application to the lady who i spoke to a while ago from the apartment and i remembered i'm pretty sure she told me to TEXT her the letter- so i found her number to text and i also texted it to her. i hope she hasn't forgot who i was and/or just threw my application out because i thought we just spoke to a person who worked at the same apartment as she did yesterday and she told me to just email it to her. so hopefully it's still ok.

ics helping me

i just had ics and i expected the girl to tell me that she couldn't help me call and make an appointment to get my eyeliner retattoo'd on because i coulda sworn she told me that she couldn't talk in a phone call, just get me the number to the place and i'd have to make the appointment myself.. but she actually helped me call and helped me decide what kind of eyeliner i'd want and schedule the actual appointment next month. the lady asked if i just wanted a natural kind of eyeliner or one that actually looked like i had eyeliner on. i don't know if i just had the natural kind before when i got eyeliner tattoo'd on because i had to go back twice when my grandma was alive and she found a place for me or if i got the other kind and it just wore off because it's been so long. i told her the make-up kind because i realized how it wore off but i'm not sure if i should've just went with the natural kind, because i remember when i got it done the first time with my grandma- i was so frustrated because i thought i looked like a hooker the first time and i had even tried to rub it off. so i hope it's not like that again.
the ics worker also helped me call this apartment in boston because i thought that i probably sent the doctor's note for accomodations to my apartment to the wrong housing agency because i found this apartment this morning that i'm pretty sure i toured on my last trip to boston. i couldn't remember if they requested a doctor's note for accomodations to an apartment or if it was the other housing agency which i sent it to a few days after i received it. so HOPEFULLY i can get this scanned and send it to the lady at the apartment in boston that i found today on my recent phone calls and notes on my cell phone.

reactions to violence..

when i was on my way to sabathani, i expected to see lots of flyers about renee nicole good's death. i seen the normal sign that was put up before her death that says "STOP KILLING OUR NEIGHBORS" then a little down the road (i don't remember that well exactly where), i seen a few posters taped up that said "RIP RENEE NICOLE GOOD" with a picture of renee on it. i answered a few calls asking if we delivered food for people since they were obviously too afraid to leave their homes and i had to tell them we don't offer that service but people were allowed to pick up food for people who couldn't go and get it themselves. only pca's though. i kinda feel sorry for these people who are too afraid to leave their homes just to get food. i probably wouldn't have that same problem if i lived in minneapolis still, i don't have much to lose if ice or some other dick were to kidnap me. i don't really have anything to look forward to anymore either. SO.. NOTHING TO LOSE! although my spirit would be irritated at my mom pretending to care about me to get sympathy- which i KNOW she would to get attention. did you care this much about me when dad was kicking you and you used ME as a SHIELD when i was an infant? no? didn't think so. shaddup.

grateful?

i was sitting at sabathani today thinking about exactly WHAT would make me look "grateful" in the eyes of basically the root of the cause of my traumatic brain injury (even though i kinda think his dad may have had a little more influence over him choosing to drive drunk). then reality struck me- VOLUNTEERING AT A COMMUNITY CENTER WHERE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO GO THERE FOR HELP ARE EITHER MINORITIES AND/OR LOW-INCOME PEOPLE IS ABOUT AS "GRATEFUL" AS I CAN GET AND PEOPLE JUST NEED TO MIND THEIR BUSINESS AND WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES FIRST BEFORE PREACHING TO ME ABOUT HOW I OF ALL PEOPLE NEEDS TO BE MORE "GRATEFUL". i'm almost positive that his smart ass younger sister is also trying to stir the pot- like younger sisters like to do. sorry my daddy isn't rich and i don't attend church all the time (partially because it's too cold and slippery). you guys should worry about yourselves before criticizing a person who nearly died because your relative drove drunk and nearly killed them. I did NOT have a drop of alcohol in my system during the accident- which is why i got hurt worse because i didn't have alcohol in my system to paralyze my immune system. don't even begin to come at me because you like to think your shit don't stink. i've volunteered MANY places because I WANTED to. i know damn well you can't say the same thing. when was the last time you made speeches for mothers against drunk driving? helped memorize and honor INNOCENT MINORITIES killed by police? what about VOLUNTEER at a place for minorities and low-income people? THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T EVEN START TO SAY THAT I AM NOT GRATEFUL. just can it. go polish your egos elsewhere.

what kinda SHIT is this

after i ate lunch and was going into the bathroom to brush my teeth, the nurse who fills my anodyne machine called me and said she was at my apartment and she needed someone to let her in the apartment. so i walked to the front door and let her in the apartment and she said surprised, "IF COURAGE KENNY SEEN YOU TODAY! YOU SHOULD GO BACK THERE ONE OF THESE DAYS TO SHOW THEM THE PROGRESS THEY MISSED OUT ON! YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD!" then i said, "heh.. they'd probably ignore all the progress i made, JUST LIKE WHEN I USED TO GO TO COURAGE KENNY because i don't have any advocacy to recognize my PROGRESS. i have better things to do." then the nurse laughed a little and said, "yeah i guess." people don't seem to recognize exactly how much DAMAGE it does to my mental health when people ignore and disregard EVERYTHING i've done and how far i've came. over TWENTY THREE YEARS ago, i was laying in a damn coma. i rehabilitated to become ambulatory again- THANKS TO TRAM HOLLOWAY. he actually had confidence in me to walk again and didn't discourage me from truly progressing because of "liability". IF LIABILITY WERE CONSIDERED IN EVERYTHING- DOCTORS AND THERAPISTS WOULDN'T HAVE JOBS. chances and risks NEED to be taken in order for a person to PROGRESS in life. you're just taking advantage of people IF you ignore EVERYTHING they've been through and EVERYTHING they did for themselves to get where they are. i used to get A's and B's in school. i made the A honor roll every semester before my car accident. i was in sports WHEN I WASN'T WORKING TO PAY FOR MY CAR (which my grandpa told my grandma to pay the rest of after my accident). i didn't drink or smoke. i didn't party. i was a regular melvin. BUT SOMEHOW I'M EXPECTED TO DOWNGRADE MY GOALS FOR THE CONVENIENCE OF UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE MISERY LOVES COMPANY. GO SCREW YOURSELVES. i'm almost positive that amanda downgrades my progress and makes sure everyone knows that my job is just a volunteering position- so i don't deserve any respect or admiration because I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR IT! I'M A HANDICAPPED IDIOT ON SOCIAL SECURITY WHO IS ONLY CAPABLE OF GOING TO COURAGE KENNY AND DEPENDING ON SCRAPS FROM THE GOVERNMENT! I SHOULD BE MORE GRATEFUL! RIGHT CATHY?! AT LEAST I GET SOMETHING! WHEN I'VE WENT THROUGH MORE THAN WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO GET WHERE I AM BUT I CAN'T PROGRESS TOO FAR! RIGHT AMANDA?! THAT'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LESS ADEQUATE! I'M JUST A CRAZY, STUPID HANDICAPPED GIRL!!! HOPE I'M ENTERTAINING YOU ALL BECAUSE THAT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY LOGICAL REASON WHY YOU'RE REFUSING TO TRULY HELP ME! i don't deserve everything i have! I SHOULD BE MORE GRATEFUL.

whatever's more convenient for *SUPPOSED* other people!

today when i went to the lady who did wavetherapy on me, i was talking to her about my plans for the day. i remembered that i have my dentist appointment at 4 today and i said, "OH YEAH! later i have a dentist appointment!" then she said, "yeah? are you just going in for a cleaning or what?" then i said, "yeah and i'm gonna have them look at this tooth i chipped the other day when i was taking my retainer out of my mouth on the top row.. i was trying to think of the sports broadcaster for football on sundays who has a space in between his teeth.." then she said, "MICHAEL STRAHAN!" and i said, "well.. i think i kinda look like him now with this space in between my tooth." with a laugh. then she laughed and said, "it's not THAT bad but i know who you were talking about! haha he has all that money and doesn't even fix his teeth. it must be a memory for him or something.." then i said, "yeah. call me STACY STRAHAN." then she laughed and tried to reassure me again. i came back to my apartment and looked at it- it's not that bad really but i don't want it to get worse. i wonder if i need to go to my orthodontist for her to adjust my top retainer again. we'll see what the dentist says. i guess michael strahan's teeth might be like my crooked finger that was broken in the car accident i was in and those great doctors at buffalo's hospital couldn't even set it correctly- so now it's crooked when i point with my left hand pointer finger. they really were good for shit at that hospital. they told my family to disconnect the life support because if i ever came outta the coma i was in- i'd be a vegetable all my life. proof of the incompetence of buffalo, ny. they can't properly handle medical emergencies- so they make up lies that'll excuse their incompetence and laziness. that's probably one of the reasons my grandma had me air ambulanced to regions hospital in minnesota so some REAL medical professionals could help me. story of my life.. whatever's more convenient for others, just do it!.. luckily, my grandma stepped in and refused to disconnect the life support. i know that no one else in my family would've done that for me. (except joe but i didn't know him that well back then and i think he was still living in california back then)

gap

i forgot to mention that i have a dentist appointment for a cleaning and to look at my tooth that i chipped the other day when i was taking my retainer outta my mouth the other morning. to me- it looks kinda like michael strahan's teeth and the gap in the middle of his front teeth but the ics worker CLAIMS she can't tell (which i seriously doubt.. it's either me being too self-conscious or she's lying to make her job easier- so it's one less thing she has to help me with.. hm- i honestly don't know).

Take me. I don’t have anything to lose.

i just got outta sabathani where i worked. i'm thinking redsidents of this area are trying to avoid doing things in the community here because of those ice fuckers. i could give a shit less if those dicks arrest me- the only reason why i got my citizenship certified was because i know it would've just gave my mom an excuse to get atttention for "caring" about me when she's shown absolutely NO concern for my mental health. it's easier for her to put a fake act that she's worried and/or sad when i get pushed so far i can't turn back. OH LOOK! THERE'S MORE FOR AMANDA AND DUSTIN TO LAUGH AT! just because you've never experienced something- it doesn't fuckin mean there's not a problem. save the attempt to be helpful by forcing me to go to courage kenny. when i was going there when my grandma was still alive- i felt worse than this. i remember driving my wheelchair out to the highway and thinking about driving my wheelchair onto the highway- the only thing that stopped me from doing it was hopes that my grandma was telling the truth that amanda would get me to new york. so thanks for NOTHING.

just because someone says something- it doesn't make it true.

i was listening to charlamagne tha godd as usual in the morning and his donkey of the day was the secretary of state kristie gnome or wtf that ho's name is. he said she was donkey of the day because of how she basically tried to cover up nicole strong brown's MURDER by just assuming we'd listen and believe everything she said about how nicole strong brown was shot by ics. i had a feeling that the grump administration would try to get away with covering their asses when she got murdered, so that's the reason why i blogged MY OWN ACCOUNT about what happened and the reactions from people who were ACTUALLY nearby when it happened (my coworkers talking about what happened that day since i didn't work til the day AFTER it happened). i'm sure my ex and a bunch of my family members are just eating up what grump's fat ass says. i'm not even sure how he seems to think he can get away with lying about the MURDER in this day in age.. EVERYONE has smartphones and they take pictures and videos of EVERYTHING. oh.. that's right.. i forget grump is stupid and he thinks the world revolves around him- so the truth doesn't matter. which is also why i posted basically every video i could find of what really happened that day, so his asspal elon muskrat would have a lot to do erasing them all. i have a feeling that a lot of people from the town i grew up in were paying attention to my timeline because i was the closest one to the action that they knew and they probably didn't feel confident believing what that fat ass of a president CLAIMED happened. he tries to take advantage of small town folks by thinking he can make up wtf he wants and they'll believe him since he's president! takes a little more credibility for me to believe some guy who's nickname is "don the con" and i'm pretty sure when i FIRST went to new york, he wasn't president then but people in new york spoke about how he ripped them off. so NO WAY in hell would i EVER believe someone who'd try to deport me in a second. lemme tell your fat ass a secret.. I'M UP FOR MY DEPORTATION! IF THAT MAKES YOUR FAT ASS FEEL LIKE HE'S ACTUALLY BEING USEFUL- BRING IT ON FATSY. so i'm gonna have to have my passport and certificate of citizenship with me now when i go to work and out in the public because the wanna-be commies will be after me. THIS DOESN'T MATTER TO AMANDA OR THE REST OF MY FAMILY! AMANDA AND HER HUSBAND ARE GRUMP SUPPORTERS!! the incompetent fool is a RUSSIAN TOOL. his intentions for this country are NOTHING BUT BAD. he's only doing this shit for his russian pimp daddy vladimir putin. the united states even investigated his connections to vlad. he's gonna take all your money and ship all the jobs overseas. you morons only voted for him because he didn't like people who were different than him- JUST AS LONG AS IT WASN'T YOUR KIND! well- when all the minorities are gone- YOU'RE NEXT. you people are so stupid. God made EVERYONE DIFFERENT from each other for a reason. his son was black. you people discriminating against black people and people different than you are really going to be disappointed at judgment day. keep it up, morons. nobody believes a thing i say anyway, they all think i'm crazy. crazy is better than ignorant and stupid.. so i guess i'm crazy then. i'm disabled!.. so that makes me STUPID- right amanda? don't treat me like i'm stupid. "don't pee on my head and tell me it's rain." that's what charlamagne was saying kristie gnome was doing to the american people when she tried to cover up nicole brown smart's murder by ice agents- which is also a feeling that i'm all too familiar with. grow up and find things out YOURSELF instead of assuming things because that's just easier for you! NEWSFLASH: LIFE IS NOT EASY. don't act like you know that shit either just because you happened to have a job, house, vehicles, and other material things. when something happens to you- NONE of that matters anymore. get your fuckin priorities and values straight. take this advice from someone who has FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE. none of your family and friends will support you. stop being such entitled, ignorant pricks.